


Methods

by aploun



Category: Borderlands
Genre: Jack's an asshole as the usual, M/M, Masturbation, Mildly Dubious Consent, Strangulation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-20
Updated: 2015-04-21
Packaged: 2018-03-24 21:59:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3785764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aploun/pseuds/aploun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Listen kid—you’re lucky I can’t kill you, or your ass would be a decorative mount above my fireplace.”</p><p>or: Methods of Shutting Jack the Fuck Up</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Method 1

Turns out sharing his head space with his psychopathic, murderous, power hungry, malicious, berating… _eh you get the point_ , former boss is just as shit-tastic as Rhys expected it to be.

Not that he wasn’t still completely enamored by the guy, _Hell, he’s Handsome fuckin’ Jack_! Rhys just never anticipated sharing his cranium with the guy while he cooed and awed over his various Handsome Jack posters he plastered on the walls of his office back on Helios.

There’s a difference between admiring the guy and having him installed into your brain where only you can endure his harassment as the people around you think you’re going nuts.

 _But, hey, there could be worse things…_ Rhys contemplated silently.

_Oh, wait, that’s right, it’s the absolute worst it could ever fucking be!_

They were stuck in the middle of Who-Gives-A-Fuck Pandora, Rhys only had one shoe, Vaughn was still buffer than him, and to top it all off Jack wouldn’t shut the fuck up.

That was his most noticeable trait Rhys accounted in the few days Jack has been camping out in his skull.

Jack absolutely _loved_ to babble.

He’d always have something to say about someone, or comments on their plans on how to survive day to day in this shithole of a planet.

Rhys tried various methods of filtering out the constant jeering and degradation.

Method one was to ignore him, seemed simple enough, Rhys just didn’t have to talk.

But as it turns out Jack isn’t one for being ignored, and Rhys isn’t the kind of guy that just holds his tongue.

During the two day period of silence, Jack went from complaining, to anger, to pouting, back to anger, then eventually reserved into silence as well.

Rhys smugly have himself a pat on the back, _looks like Handsome Jack isn’t so big and bad after all._

Out of the corner of his eye Rhys saw the pixelated figure of Jack flicker slightly and Jack’s face curled into a knowing smirk.

Rhys forced himself to look forward at Vaughn’s briskly walking form; the sweat that dripped down his neck wasn’t from just the blistering sun anymore.

Jack spent the next few hours closer to Rhys than before, examining him as he walked next to him.

Rhys continued to ignore him, refusing to even look in his general direction.

If Rhys walked faster, Jack walked faster; if Rhys stopped to fan himself and briefly discuss plans with Vaughn, Jack would stand directly at his side, staring holes into the side of his head.

This continued for hours on end and it was starting to drive Rhys wild.

_What is Jack doing? He wouldn’t give up that damn easily…_

Just as Rhys turned his head slightly to the left to give in and say something to acknowledge Jack, an electric shock pulsed through him in a flash, making his nervous system feel like it was on fire.

Rhys let out an ungodly screech that rang out across the barren wasteland, he briefly prayed there weren’t any bandits or horrible flesh eating creatures within a 10 mile radius that could have heard that.

He immediately smacked his left arm over his port, rubbing at the indent with his fingertips lightly, Rhys let out a pitiful whimper.

Vaughn spun around in surprise at Rhys’ first high-pitched outburst.

“Dude are you okay, holy craps.”

Rhys didn’t hear him over the manic giggling that was coming from his left in long drawn out bursts.

“Oh—oh my God, you should have seen the look on your face. And that scream, what the hell was that, cupcake? I’ve heard little girls with manlier wails than you!”

Jack wheezed through his laughter, doubling over and causing his form to flicker rapidly.

Rhys suddenly forgot the surprise and the pain that just sent his entire body into a painful spasm, he was now filled with absolute fucking rage.

“What the _fuck_ did you do to me asshole?” Rhys spat out angrily as he approached Jack, the tips of his ears lighting up red with anger.

Jack didn’t back down, instead standing up from his former position of hysterical laughing. He stared down Rhys with a fiery glare and a quirked grin that split his face into an awkward but menacing look.

“Ohh looks like someone gets flustered when their upset, is that right, Rhysie?” Jack spat out harshly, his voice taking on the sound of sandpaper and wood.

Rhys felt his entire face flush and his hands clenched into fists at his sides, he was stuck between being embarrassed and wrathful.

His entire body shook with anger and lingering electrified nerves, Rhys flinched as Vaughn lightly set a hand on his shoulder.

“Hey man are you okay, is he messing with you?”

Rhys looked down at his friend and gave a curt nod before dragging his eyes away to glare down at his shoes.

“Just try ignoring him, maybe he’ll stop bothering you?” Vaughn suggested hopefully, giving Rhys a small pat of reassurance.

“Already tried…” Rhys muttered through gritted teeth as he pulled away from Vaughn’s grip and continued walking forward, the scorching dirt causing his socked foot to blister painfully.

Jack once again caught up with Rhys, keeping up with his brisk pace with ease.

“It’s absolutely amazing what you can learn about the body when you just have some quiet time to observe and experiment, ain’t it Rhys?”

Jack laughed again, this time less hysterically and more menacing and omnipotent.

_I don’t care who this fucker is, no one has the right to be sadistic to anyone, especially me!_

Rhys pouted fiercely in his head, letting out an annoyed huff of air as he glared at Jack.

“Also… In case you don’t already know, all your thoughts, and eventually memories, once I figure out how to get into that little part of that dumb egg of a head of yours, are all mine.”

“My thoughts?” Rhys repeated dumbly, suddenly trying to thumb through quickly in his brain all of his thoughts during the past few days.

“Yep, I hear ‘em all, baby! At least I started to a few hours ago.”

That must’ve be the reason for his creepy smirk; Rhys shook his head miserably.

“But how did—how did you shock me?” Rhys blustered indignantly, still pissed the man caused him to almost lose his cool.

“Oh Rhys, first off, you have no cool, and second, I did this.”

Jack quickly extended his index finger and before Rhys could even react, jabbed it directly into his port.

The shock wasn’t as bad as the first, Rhys only jolted and whimpered softly as Jack retreated from the port in his temple.

“H-how’d you figure that out, asshole?” Rhys covered the metal appliance with his hand, fearful Jack might strike out and zap him again.

“Well while you were giving me the silent treatment like some stupid fucking kid, I sat back and observed.”

Rhys quirked an eyebrow upwards,” You learned how to read my thoughts, and cause me horrible pain in a matter of what— a day and a half?”

“Yep!” Jack crossed his arms smugly.

Rhys gave an exasperated sigh and looked back over his shoulder at Vaugh, who was currently attempting to ignore the one-sided conversation he was hearing by whistling to a strangely familiar song… something to do with a hard drive or mainframe or something dumb.

Rhys returned his glance back to Jack as they continued walking forward, he glared irritably at the blue hologram wishing he could strangle the permanent smirk that rested on Jack’s face.

“I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that last part.” Jack growled.

“Now what did we learn today, Rhysie? Because I think we truly learned more about each other today, and how we’re going to get through this _adventure._ ”

Rhys grimaced, he knew enough about Jack to know he wouldn’t leave him alone until he gave him a verbal response.

“I won’t ignore you…” Rhys whispered half-heartedly, not looking Jack in the eye.

“Hmm, what was that? Didn’t catch it, maybe you should speak up? Unless you need to be retaught…” Jack growled out between gritted teeth, he hated to be kept waiting.

“I said I learned I won’t ignore you ever again, Jack, just let it go.” Rhys barked out, partially due to anger, partially because of fear of another searing shock from his prick of a head-buddy.

They all continued walking, well more like trudging, until Vaughn suggested they find some sort of shelter for the night and continue tomorrow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started TFTBL yesterday, started ep 2 today, finished it, then started writing this.
> 
> I already read all the fics and lemme tell ya THEY'RE GREAT!!!! I was inspired to write my own 
> 
> not really bringing anything new to the table I suppose. All around just Jack dickery 
> 
> But yeah I'm all around pretty satisfied with this so far!!! hope u enjoy ;0


	2. Method 2

Method two was striking back, and eye for an eye.

It turns out it was just as unsuccessful as ignoring Jack.

They all eventually met up at Hollow Point, thanks to Loader Bot, who was by the way _, fuckin’ awesome_.

They all hunkered down in Scooter’s garage for the night, he still needed to make a few more adjustments to the caravan but they’d be out by tomorrow.

The garage was nice enough, they had lots of space, and since it was attached to Scooter’s new living quarters it came with some niceties; which were rare in Pandora.

They could all do their business in a mostly average toilet, though it was just a really deep hole in the ground with a toilet over it to sit on. Plus—there was a shower. A freezing cold dick shrinking shower, but still absolutely beautiful in Rhys’ eyes.

That was probably the worst thing in Rhys eyes about Pandora—the absolute lack of personal hygiene.

There wasn’t showers in every apartment, bathrooms on every building floor, or a single tooth brush in sight. Rhys missed his shitty cramped apartment in times like these, at least then the water was heated and his breath didn’t smell like skag ass.

Rhys almost kissed Scooter when he offered them use of his shower, this tiny weird man truly was a life saver.

Rhys called using the shower first, much to the discontent of his friends. But he quickly occupied the room and locked it without another word.

Letting out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding, Rhys walked over to the shower, taking in the sight. It wasn’t too impressive: shitty rusty shower head, dirty grime coating the tile on the floor, and there wasn’t any shampoo or conditioner, just a deformed bar of soap that smelled like pine.

Rhys shrugged and turned the handles to turn the water on to it’s highest heat and pressure, which was truthfully absolute _shit._

He made quick work of taking off his clothing, which was still coated in skag viscera and other filth. Rhys cringed, he’ll have to discuss means of washing clothing on Pandora with Fiona and Sasha later…

Rhys cringed stepping into the shower, _fuck its freezing!_ He quickly jumps back out, already shivering. He contemplates his options: get redressed and deal with the humiliation of walking out smelling like shit because he couldn’t handle a little cold water, or have his dick get frost bite and fall off.

“What, scared of a little water, Rhysie?”

The sudden voice caused Rhys to almost shit himself, _almost._

“What the fuck Jack? I’m trying to take a shower, kinda, ya know, _private_!”

Jack raised an eyebrow at the crack in Rhys’ voice.

“Jeeze kid, what are you, twenty one, twenty two? Puberty must hit late in the family.”

“I’m twenty six! And everyone’s voice cracks, it’s because I’m nervous!” Rhys nervously covers his more private bits and turns away from Jack, looking back towards the running shower.

“Well, don’t mind me then shortstack no need to get all shouty.” Jack grumbled leaning against the wall studying Rhys as he made his slow venture into the freezing shower.

Rhys awkwardly stood in the freezing water, one hand over his junk and the other scratching at his slightly stubbly thigh.

Jack leisurely looks Rhys up and down, crinkling his eyebrows and snickering softly upon glancing at his legs.

“What?!” Rhys snapped, glaring back at the hologram who clearly didn’t plan on going away any time soon.

“You’re legs, they’re so soft and smooth looking, do you— _do you shave_ , cupcake?” Jack sneered.

Rhys’ face exploded in red, he stuttered nervously and further crowded himself into the corner of the shower, a somewhat futile attempt to escape Jack’s judgmental gaze.

“Y-yeah so? Lots of people do, I don’t like my legs all gross and scratchy. It’s a totally normal dude thing to do, I bet Vaughn does it!” Rhys splutters defensively.

It honestly wasn’t considered weird on Helios for anyone to shave their legs, or to not shave their legs. But most people wore long pants so no-one ever noticed.

Jack holds up his hands and gives a faux apologetic looks,” Hey, no need to get defensive it was just an observation on how your legs look as smooth as a baby’s ass.” Jack snorts and slaps his knee causing his form to flicker.

“Piss off Jack, you haven’t bothered me all day but you decide to show up now? It looks like you’re the one with a thing for _me_.” Rhys spat out aggressively, he knew it was a long shot to try to embarrass Jack but he wasn’t exactly pulling up any creative insults at the moment.

“Ha—me? Handsome Jack, having a ‘ _thing_ ’ for a meager shit stain like you? If I’d known about you while I was still running this shithole, I would’ve had you thrown out the fucking air lock.” Jack said easily, brushing off Rhys attempt at insult like dust.

Rhys’ face burned as he turned back to face the water directly, fuming over Jack’s completely assholery.

“Well good thing you _aren’t_ running this shithole anymore, you’re dead.” Rhys whispered a little too loudly, just so Jack could hear.

And this, my friends, is when Rhys decides that was in fact, a _bad_ thing to say.

Suddenly a mass of bright blue crowded his space in the small shower, Rhys panicked and pushed back against the wall but there was no escaping the shit storm he brewed.

“Listen here _kiddo_ , we may be stuck together but that doesn’t mean I can’t do everything physically possible in my current form to inflict the most horrifyingly excruciating pain you have ever felt in your life.” Jack’s voice sounded distorted and was shrouded with white noise; that always happened when he was angry.

“You’re nothing to me, a mere puppet for me to manipulate to get what I want. I’m Handsome Jack and I am the _goddamn_ hero of this story, I won’t let a fucking side character like you get in my way.” Jack hissed out, the distortion of his voice getting more high-pitched with each word.

Through his panic and fear Rhys couldn’t stop his thought flow.

_Whose voice is cracking now, jackass._

There was an immediate electric jolt surging through Rhys’ body, leaving his heart-rate even higher than before.

Handsome Jack was still crowded in his space, leering down at him menacingly. “Listen kid—you’re lucky I can’t kill you, or your ass would be a decorative mount above my fireplace.”

Rhys lashes out with his right arm, swiping through Jack’s form, unfortunately for him that did nothing but piss Jack off more.

“You can’t get rid of me now Rhys, you shoved me into your empty shell of a brain and now you’re stuck with me! You can’t do anything to me, but I can do whatever the fuck I want to you.”

The arm formally used to swing at Jack suddenly flexed its fingers involuntarily. Rhys looked down in shock at the movement in his mechanical arm, he forgot about some of Jack’s abilities over his body, this one especially.

The metallic hand slowly made its way up Rhys’ body, he felt the cold metal against his skin slide smoothly against his chest until it was resting on his shoulder.

A few moments passed in silence as Rhys stared in confusion into Jack’s eyes, there was a strange sort of glint to them, per se more strange than usual.

Then the metallic hand quickly wrapped around Rhys’ throat and clenched, the thumb digging directly into his windpipe. Rhys clenched his jaw from the initial pressure but soon was gasping frantically searching for breath. Modesty be damned, Rhys took his left hand away from his crotch and scratched at his other hand praying for release.

“Ohh would you look at that, I was wondering whether you shaved your nether regions.”

Jack observed the dense trail of hair that worked its way down Rhys’ abdomen until it reached his groin and spread out in a tuft of dark brown.

“That’s a bit weird, man. Soft legs but straight up animal in your unmentionables.” Jack quirked an eyebrow, as if waiting for Rhys to respond.

Rhys unfortunately still had a death grip on his throat and was starting to see stars and his eyes lolled around, not focusing on anything in particular.

Jack sighed and loosened his grip to a vague grasp around Rhys’ neck. Letting out a sharp tsk’ing sound Jack studied Rhys’ face intently.

He took in the half-lidded dazed expression as Rhys regained full consciousness, the slight rasping noise that escaped his throat as he took in ragged breaths, and the rapid rise and fall of his chest as he drank in the air he was formally deprived on.

Jack took his holographic arm and lightly brushed over Rhys’ abdomen, imitating touch though Rhys couldn’t really feel pressure.

“It’s weird kid, but it’s cute. I’ve always liked ‘em a bit burly downstairs.” Jack let out a snicker and Rhys realized his mechanical hand was once again moving, but this time down towards his crotch.

Rhys squeaked in embarrassment upon noticing he was popping a slight hard-on, _when the heck did that happen?_

Jack continued his slow journey with the robotic hand, teasing Rhys with a few soft strokes through his happy trail. Rhys held his breath, not knowing how to take in this whole situation, the atmosphere changed from murderous to sexual in seconds and this was all very fuckin’ new to him.

A knock on the door caused the hand to stop right before it wrapped itself around Rhys dick possessively. Both Jack and Rhys looked towards the door, Rhys letting out and disappointed and confused moan while Jack sighed glanced back at Rhys and grinned,” Looks like we’ll have to continue this another time then, cupcake.”

And just like that Jack flickered out of vision, leaving Rhys alone in the shower that was still pouring out freezing water.

A voice erupted from beyond the door,” I swear if you’re wasting all the water in their jerking off I will personally kill you!”

 _Ugh, Fiona._ Rhys groaned inwardly, turning off the water and grabbing a dirty towel that lay strewn in the corner of the room to dry off.

A few minutes later Rhys emerged from the room, back in his disgusting Hyperion outfit and his hair messily brushed back in a damp mess.

“Have fun in there hot shot? We could hear you yelling and making noises from out here.” Fiona gave him the epitome of disapproving looks.

Rhys just clenched his teeth and rolled his eyes at her, pushing past to claim a sleeping bag in the corner of the garage to sleep.

Curling up in the paper thin sleeping bag on a garage floor wasn’t the most comfortable place to sleep, but it’s the best they’ve had in days and Rhys wasn’t about to go complain.

Rhys gently reached his arm up to lightly press his fingers to his throat, feeling the bruises forming around the tender flesh. He blushed lightly and bit his lip, trying to push the memory of the past half hour out of his mind forever.

But he couldn’t stop thinking about Jack’s parting words, _‘looks like we’ll have to continue another time’._

This filled Rhys with a feeling of both anxiety and anticipation, Jack made him feel two different things a lot. Rhys let out a frustrated sigh and pulled the sleeping back tighter around him, forcing himself to clear his mind and fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be the explicit stuff :-0
> 
> I'll publish it tomorrow probably!
> 
> u cannot convince me Rhys doesn't shave his legs but doesn't shave his nether region, he would probably love to flap around his legs in bed right after he shaved bc they're so soft.
> 
> also sasha and fiona have never shaved in their lives bc they don't fucking care


	3. Method 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *prays over laptop*  
> forgive me Father for I have sinned

Method three was—uh, well, it was something.

Rhys was restlessly pacing the caravan as Fiona idly chatted with Sasha while she drove and Vaughn tinkered with his new watch. Jack watched Rhys pace with bored eyes, Rhys was honestly surprised he was out and about right now, he usually disappeared when there wasn’t any action happening.

Out of the blue, the caravan hit a hole in the terrain and sent Rhys sprawling to the floor. Rhys whined and pushed himself into a sitting position on the floor, everyone else let out a brief chuckle and went back to what they were doing.

_Gee, thanks guys, you’re real friends._

Jack continued staring down at him, biting his lip and with raised eyebrows.

“What?” Rhys asks quietly, staring dubiously up at Jack.

“Oh nothing, but I would check your pants, kiddo, they aren’t looking so hot.” Jack grinned toothily.

Rhys glanced down quickly at his pants, searching for what Jack was referring to; they were all around in pretty bad shape. The legs were coated with caked mud and dried blood, and they stunk of sweat. Rhys raised his eyes to his crotch and let out a disgruntled groan. Right down the seam of the crotch line down to his ass there was a gash where it exposed his underwear underneath.

“Everything okay there, bro?” Vaughn asked with concern, finally looking up from his watch to check on Rhys who was still slumped on the floor.

Rhys laughed awkwardly and waved him off,” Yeah totally man, no problem here, nothing at all, all good in the hood!”

Vaughn nodded looking completely unconvinced, bringing his attention back towards his device, punching in 130+290 into the calculator and giggling like a middle school boy.

“Are they yellow because they were made that way or have you just pissed yourself that many times in the past week?” Jack asks with a biting tone, always such a charmer.

“They came yellow, man, don’t be gross!” Rhys crinkled his nose in disgust at the thought.

“Yeah, yeah, have fun strutting your stuff around the others with that, piss-pants.”

Jack then disappeared, leaving the wall he was leaning against empty and the caravan a lot less annoying.

Rhys miserably studied the rip in his pants, it was pretty big and obvious, and he didn’t imagine there was a lot of clothing stores where they were headed.

Shuffling from his sitting position to place himself in a seat in the very back, Rhys made damn sure the rip was as out of sight as possible from the others. _Fuck, how humiliating_ …

Rhys crossed his legs casually to cover the spot, his mind was racing a hundred miles an hour forming a convoluted plan to fix his pants without getting caught and maintaining whatever dignity and respect he had from the rest of the group before they get to Old Haven.

Another hour went by and Rhys was still sitting there, drawing blank on all logical plans that could possibly help him in his time of need.

“Hey, we’re here!” Sasha called from the front, shifting into park and taking the keys out of the ignition quickly before pocketing them. Fiona opened up the door to the caravan and stepped out, followed by Sasha and Vaughn close behind. Sasha peeps her head back through the door sporting a confused look,” You coming, or what?” she rhythmically tapped her fingers on the edge of the door frame impatiently.

“Coming! Just—just give me a minute, alright? I have to… get something…” Rhys stuttered, putting on his most convincing and earnest look he could muster.

Sasha just shrugged and left the door open, joining Fiona and Vaughn outside to scope out Old Haven.

Rhys stood up and examined his lower half from different angles; the rip was mostly invisible standing up, only visible if you happened to be glancing at his ass where the rip was centered.

He walked in a tight legged gait, careful not to spread his legs too far apart or draw attention to his lower half in case someone looked towards him.

The gang was waiting for him with sour looks of impatience, it seems waiting wasn’t in their vocabulary.

“Did you get your ‘thing’ Rhys?” Sasha said mockingly, earning a snicker from Fiona and a sympathetic look from Vaugh.

Rhys rolled his eyes and turned to scan his eyes across the city, it was reaching night time and the town was shrouded in darkness. This wouldn’t be a problem for his ECHO eye but he didn’t exactly want to search for the Atlas facility with his current situation, he would be doomed for sure.

“It’s getting late and we’re all exhausted from the drive, we should find shelter for the night.” Rhys suggested with a shrug of his shoulders.

Sasha and Fiona looked to each other for approval and nodded simultaneously while Vaughn agreed full-heartedly; he hated the dark, he definitely wasn’t exploring some creepy abandoned town at ass-o-clock at night.

They briskly searched for the safest place to camp out for the night, in the end deciding on what looked to be an old warehouse that smelled like oil and long rusted metal.

The place wasn’t too bad, there was lots of space for them and it seemed secure from the heavy duty door that locked from the inside. It was unfortunately pitch-black, sending Sasha and Vaughn back to the caravan to grab all their lanterns and sleeping bags.

 They all grabbed lanterns, spreading them in a large circle in the middle of the warehouse, then going about setting out their sleeping bags littered around the circle.

Rhys laid out his sleeping bag, leaning over to adjust the top half to smooth it out when a burst of laughter erupted from across the room.

“Holy shit, Rhys, I knew you were hiding something!” Sasha giggled furiously, pointing a painted index finger towards Rhys’ bent over form.

Fiona and Vaughn eyes follow her finger and land on the gloriously obvious rip that divided Rhys’ pants down the middle, displaying his neon underwear for all to see.

Rhys squawked indignantly, straightening up immediately, covering his exposed underwear with his hands shamefully. A blush slowly crept up Rhys’ neck as they all joined in laughing at the poor boys misfortune. _Fuckin’ dicks…_

“Why didn’t you just tell us dumbass, we have a sewing kit in the caravan. Do you know how often clothes rip down here?” Sasha snorted at Rhys’ half shrug in response.

“Didn’t want to look stupid…” Rhys mumbled, scratching at the fabric of his pants on his knee nervously.

“Too late for that.” Fiona said with a sigh and a quick shake of her head.

“Sasha, go get the sewing kit from the caravan” Fiona turns and points at Rhys,” Rhys, take off your pants and give them to me, we’ll have ‘em fixed before tomorrow morning.”

Sasha takes off towards the door to retrieve the kit, leaving Rhys twitching uncomfortably under Fiona’s harsh gaze. “What?” she barked and Rhys gave her a resentful glare.

“Turn around or something, I can’t change with you watching!”

Fiona smacked a hand to her forehead,” Just drop your fucking pants Rhys.”

“Fine, so pushy…” Rhys stepped out of his shoes and wriggled off his bedraggled pants, haphazardly tossing them in Fiona’s direction and dive bombing his sleeping bad.

He wraps the bag around his lower half and grabs a single lantern before retreating from the circle about twenty feet away; he really didn’t want to be around while they fixed his pants, he’s suffered enough embarrassment today.

Sasha soon came back with the kit in hand and began working on stitching up the gap in the pants.

“Where’s Rhys anyway?” he heard Sasha question from the circle.

“Hiding in the corner pouting because he doesn’t like his fragile masculinity tampered with.” Fiona chided in with an edge to her voice.

Rhys huffed and rolled over in his sleeping bag, looking in any direction but his group members. He wasn’t pouting, he was just getting some needed alone time! _Definitely not pouting…_

Sasha called out to him when she finished, setting the pants next to her sleeping bag before turning off all the lights and calling in for the night.

_Great, looks like I’ll have to get those in the morning._

Rhys continued his not-pouting session in silence, listening to the silence of the building around him; only broken by the steady sound of breathing from his sleeping companions.

Turning his head and squinting towards to others, Rhys checked for any signs of movement. He chewed his lip anxiously, this was the first time in a week he was finally alone.

Well, not _completely_ alone.

Rhys thought back on the night before when Jack crowded him in the shower, when he strangled Rhys with his own mechanical arm, and when he used the arm for… other reasons.

Rhys raised his hand to cover the blush that was growing on his face, even though no-one could see. He wondered if Jack could hear his thoughts right now, the thought was both terrifying and exciting, all depending on Jack’s mood.

Double checking everyone was asleep, Rhys slowly reached his fleshed hand down his abdomen and gently wrapped his hand around his cock after lowering his underwear; he choked in an unsteady breath.

Rhys imagined all his Handsome Jack posters back in his office, he’d be lying if he said he hadn’t had a few (dozen) quick wank session over a poster he pulled off the walls during a late shift, drooling and whimpering pitifully over his desk as he gazed down at the photo.

This was different, Jack was here, well not totally here, he was an AI hologram that currently resided in his brain, only visible to him. But whatever, this is the close enough. The hologram definitely had his personality and voice. In fact he was spot on other than the glitch projection…

Another thing about Jack was his voice, it was brutal and striking and hit Rhys is the gut when he spoke in a low voice, knowing only Rhys could hear him. Jack never really held a concept of personal space so when he stood only inches away from Rhys’ side all he could hear was Jack’s voice in his head, it was intoxicating (when he wasn’t being an annoying prick).

Rhys slowly started stroking himself, his dick already half hard from his thought flow. His heart rate gradually sped up as he continued his actions, his eyes closing and mechanical arm clenching the sleeping bag covering him.

Rhys felt himself leaking pre-cum onto his hand, slicking up the skin and causing less friction between his hand and throbbing cock.

Suddenly, there was movement in his mechanical arm, unclenching from the fabric of the sleeping bag to rest on his chest. Rhys looked to the side in astonishment,” Jack, holy shit you scared the crap out of me!” Rhys complained loudly before his, uh, _Jack’s_ hand clamped over his mouth.

“Shut up kid, do you want to wake your friends? Don’t wanna be caught with your hands down your pants like some horny teenager.” Jack wolfishly grinned down towards Rhys, his form luminescent in the dark room.

“Now, do you promise to be quiet?” Jack questioned softly in Rhys’ ear, Rhys only nodding curtly in response.

Jack released the hands grip from Rhys’ mouth, laying it out horizontal out of the sleeping bag. Rhys quickly tested to check for possession over his arm, but to no avail Jack still held control.

Rhys breathed heavily as silence filled the warehouse, he took this time to realize the situation. Jack was sitting next to him, feet spread out, one foot going through his own through the sleeping bag. _Holograms man…_

“You’re a _dirty_ kid, Rhys, I knew you were a weirdo, but—holy shit. The posters, really? That’s fucked, but hey, I’m not surprised, it was over _me._ ” Jack stroked his ego graciously, but what else is new?

“That’s before I knew what a prick you were, don’t worry.” Rhys grumbled, ignoring how his dick twitched from Jack’s words of degradation.

Jack continued staring down unabashedly at Rhys, despite its glitches the hologram was impeccably close to real life—Rhys could swear Jack’s pupils were dilated.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.” Rhys spat, embarrassment rising from the silent stare that had prolonged way past his comfort zone.

“I would if I could, baby, I would if I could.” Jack drawled out, abruptly moving the mechanical arm down the sleeping bag, wrapping its grip around Rhys’ cock and stroking slowly.

Rhys grimaced slightly, causing Jack to falter and stop with a huff of impatience.

“What now? We were getting to the good part.” Jack complained loudly.

“My hand is metal, can I like—uh, spit on it or something? The friction might set my dick on fire if you keep it up…” Rhys stumbled awkwardly over his words, he hasn’t really done this in a while, and never with the hologram of his dead former boss.

Jack shrugged and brought the hand up for Rhys to spit on, quickly bringing it back down once the deed was done.

Jack was definitely double sided on a lot of things, Rhys never knew what to expect when it came to how he reacted to insults, or when Jack was feeling sadistic or helpful.

He was just as confusing when it came to this too. Rhys expected to cut right to the chase: Jack gives him a quicky, insults him a few times, and disappears to think of ways to degrade him for this later.

But Jack was stroking him with long, purposeful tugs of his hand, milking out tiny hitched breaths and drawn out moans. He didn’t particularly keep a rhythm, but always moved steady enough to keep Rhys on edge.

Rhys once again thought back to Helios when he would jerk off over his posters. In some sessions Rhys imagined Jack leaning him over his desk in the CEO office in Hyperion, ripping down Rhys’ pants and teasing his ass with his fingers, softly whispering to him that he was a good boy, and once they finished up Jack would zip up his pants and kiss Rhys on the cheek, asking him to come by again tomorrow.

“Well I’m not going to kiss you, if that’s what you’re asking.” Jack teased, pausing the achingly slow pace of his hand to pat Rhys on the stomach in a pseudo-comforting way which Rhys knew was meant to patronize him.

Rhys briefly looked Jack up and down, he had changed positions since he last had a good look. Jack currently faced him from his left side, his legs forming an arch over the sleeping bag as he held out an extended arm which was currently paused from its previous actions.

Rhys tore his eyes away from Jack’s face, where he was lightly biting his lip, to stare blatantly at the tent that was forming in Jack’s pants.

_The scientist that designed this AI really took that extra step to be realistic._

“This is great and all, kid, but I’m not exactly getting anything outta this other than a raging hard-on.” Jack gestured a hand towards the erection pressed tightly against his pants for emphasis.

“Well, I can’t exactly touch you? So—uh?” Rhys as usual gave his _extraordinarily_ intelligent input to the conversation.

“If you let me hack into your noggin then I can get things started, our nervous systems will link up, and I’ll have full control of your body; but the catch is I need your direct permission.” Jack rolled his eyes, obviously already knowing the answer.

“You—you won’t kill me right?” Rhys knew it was a dumb question, but he tended to say dumb things, so why stop now.

“Well, I can’t guarantee I won’t strangle you if you don’t stop saying stupid shit.”

And with that, Rhys shut up, only nodding when Jack questioningly extended his finger to his port.

Rhys recoiled at the electric shock, but the pain dulled in comparison to the feeling that then engulfed him. Almost as if every feeling of lust and need was amplified double what it was before.

Rhys could feel his heart pounding in his ears, all the blood rushing to his groin at once, causing all sensible thoughts to be thrown out the door along with his dignity as Rhys let out a high-pitched moan that he was certain could have woken the dead.

The sense of lacking most control of his own body was odd, as if he was a stranger possessing this body instead of the other way around.

Jack seemed in no better of a state as Rhys watched him from the corner of his eyes, eyes half-lidded and mouth quirked up into a blissed-out grin.

Jack eventually blinked and went back to work on Rhys, taking advantage of the extra hand he now had in his control.

Rhys’ fleshed hand lightly skimmed down his chest and abdomen, circling his happy trail multiple times before reaching farther and _ever so conveniently_ traced only centimeters away from his flushed cock, which was now dripping fervently with pre-cum.  

“Mm- Jack _come onnnn!”_ Rhys cried out, lightly bucking his hips desperately searching for friction.

“Convince me.” Jack stated simply, tracing circles on Rhys’ thigh, awaiting a response.

“Please?” Rhys pouted, _this wasn’t the time for this bullshit!_

“Mm, _nah_ , try harder, you worked for me! You’re good at sucking up to others.”

Rhys huffed, shooting a frustrated glare at Jack before lowering his eyes to avoid eye-contact.

“ _Please_ touch me, you’re killing me, man.” Rhys tried to play it off, laughing a bit to ebb off the embarrassment that threatened to overwhelm him.

Jack clicked his tongue, retracting his hand a few inches from Rhys’ groin before Rhys practically shouted.

“No—no! Please touch me, please!”

Jack brought back the hand, only tracing a single digit around the head of his cock. Rhys’ hips shook uncontrollably, the constant teasing wiping all sense of pride left in his body.

“Please, _please,_ I can’t stand it! I need it, Handsome Jack, I’m begging you!” Rhys whined pitifully.

“That’s the ticket, kiddo. _Good boy_.” Jack took his hand, ceasing the teasing to aggressively grab Rhys’ dick, and start stroking with much more speed that previously. Both extraordinarily desperate at this point.

Rhys garbled out incomprehensible strings of words, the only tangible phrases being breathy curses that dripped from his mouth drenched with lust.

Pressure began building in Rhys’ lower body, his hips sporadically twitching every few seconds in response to Jack who was still going all out on.

Jack must have remembered he had control of two hands because the mechanical hand made its way into Rhys’ hair, Jack curled his fingers, stroking softly through Rhys’ freshly cleaned hair, making an utter mess of it.

Rhys felt drool dribbling out of his mouth and onto his shirt, which was pulled up over his chest in an awkward bunch of cloth. He tried to control his breathing but the rate of breaths increased as the heat grew with each passing minute.

Jack was also panting heavily at this point, biting back groans with a clenched jaw. Rhys watched Jack eyes flutter shut for a few seconds before they blinked open again to stare back at Rhys.

Jack pulled his lips back into a shit-eating grin, the kind of look he always got when he planned on doing something massively dickish.

Rhys didn’t have time to fear for the worst before Jack yanked painfully on Rhys’ hair, sending him over the edge that shook through him like a bolt of lightning. Rhys came in short bursts, covering his hand and stomach. Jack in tow released an open-mouthed moan, hissing in a breath afterwards to regain the lost air.

They took a few minutes to recover, Rhys still twitching in the afterglow and Jack watching Rhys’ completely wreaked form regain some cognition.

Rhys eventually came to his senses and discovered he gained control of his limbs again, slowly retracting them back into himself, grabbing the top blanket of his sleeping bag and pulling it over himself.

Jack was being uncharacteristically quiet as seemingly hours passed of Rhys and Jack just sharing a blank faced stare-down. Finally, Jack pursed his lips and stretched out his arms and burst out into a dramatic yawn.

Do holograms even get tired? Rhys contemplated temporarily as Jack curled up next to him on the floor, facing away from Rhys’ face.

A few beats passed before he finally spoke.

“That was pretty fuckin’ good kid, we should make a habit out of it.”

Rhys nodded slowly, eyes growing heavy.

“Yeah, sure thing.”

Rhys fell asleep within minutes, convinced Jack’s slight change in attitude would hold for at least the next few days.

Unfortunately for Rhys, Jack appeared immediately the next morning, describing in vivid detail the various stupid faces and noises Rhys made during the previous night.

“I wish I had a camera, you were like: _Ohh Handsome Jack, please! I am so weak and fragile, and you’re so handsome and perfect, take me now!”_

Rhys groaned and walked with the sleeping bag around his waist to retrieve his pants from across the room, desperately attempting to ignore Jack’s obnoxious mocking.

“Alright, alright I’m sorry.” Jack said half-heartedly and Rhys pulled up his pants, checking to see if the hole had been completely sewn up.

Sasha then barged in the warehouse from outside, natural light spilling in causing Rhys to squint as she approached.

“Oh, you’re _finally_ awake, you sleep like the dead.”

Rhys scratched the back of his neck, shrugging innocently.

Sasha gave him a once over with her eyes, nodding in approval at his perfectly repaired pants, but as her eyes traveled up Rhys’ form she gave a half disgusted half confused face.

“What?” Rhys asked anxiously, looking down at his shirt to see if it also gained a rip.

“It’s just—what’s that shit in your hair?” Sasha pointed to the edge of his hair where it stuck up slightly in small cow-licks.

Rhys raised a hand and ran his fingers through his hair, pulling the edges into his line of sight to identify what was dried cum coating particularly thickly in one section of his hair.

Rhys blanched, desperately attempting to concoct an excuse before Sasha raised a hand indicating that she _really,_ didn’t want to know.

Rhys was left floundering in crippling embarrassment as Jack’s laughter steadily increased in volume.

“I know—I know I should have told you, but I just _had_ to, you know?” Jack snickered in the most unattractive way possible as Rhys desperately scratched out the substance that seemed cemented into his hairline.

Rhys clenched his jaw and ran to follow Sasha out of the warehouse to pack up their supplies, praying she wouldn't tell anyone about what she saw.

_How the fuck did it even get up there?_

Rhys thought over his methods system for dealing with Jack; concluding they all gave pretty shitty results.

But at least three came with its benefits: Jack shut up for more than two fucking seconds, and he happened to be a _mighty fine_ fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case any one was wondering what Rhys' underwear looks like: http://www.underwearexpert.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/U8902F_SF3.png?c24428
> 
> Well-- that's all for this fic folks, it was super fun to write and I'll probably do some more Jack/Rhys soon bc i love their interactions.
> 
> thank you to everyone for their kind words and gifts <33


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